I Am Officially HUGE

i am now in my 35th week, and i am officially bigger than Godzilla.

At least Godzilla has a waist, a nice one.


Mine is more like a barrel that i accidentally swallowed, just like the Tom n Jerry cartoons that Jasmine loves to watch.


and yet the doctor said that my due date is on the 22nd of December.


how is it possible for me to grow bigger?


i might just rip apart my own skin!



anyways, lets just pray that my baby is all well and safe....

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i feel that Jasmine is too spoilt, and that she doesn't value things or money.

and i blame this solely on her daddy,

yes babe, you spoilt her!

she can just go into a shop, and come out with a bag full of stuff, some which she wont even touch or eat, but bought just because.

so, now, she is on allowance basis.

we give her RM10 per week (yeah, that was what i got when i was 17 in form 5!)

and she has to manage her own money.

so far, daddy had broke the rule once.

which he will be severely punished *evil gleam in the eye*

but so far, she is coping well..

let's see how it goes.

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and owh,

yesterday was my birthday.

the last of my 20s....

but i am still funky like hell.

eventhough i am a momma of 1 1/2 kids.

Dear Jasmine...

to my dearest princess,

by the time you read this (if ever you read it), i think you would be big dah...but even so, i want to apologise to you...bonda is really sorry...in advance..

• i'm really sorry that i haven't been cooking our meals at home, eventhough i know that you really appreciate and like it especially when i cook your favourite - chicken rice. its just that bonda has been extra tired, and it also makes me sooo guilty when i see you having to eat something that u don't really favour.

• bonda is also sorry that i haven't been spending much time with you, especially when we get home at the end of the day. usually bonda will be lying like a beached whale on the bed, and the only person you play with will be with daddy. and sometimes when you come to play with me, i only could manage a few minutes before i get tired.

• i'm also sorry that i haven't been reading your bedtime stories like before. it's usually because bonda will end up sleeping first before you do. i'm so sorry baby.

• i'm also sorry if i have been snapping at you more often these days. i try to be patient, as i know it is also not easy for you to be handling the news that you are gonna have another sibling...but sometimes it's like this monster takes over my logic and rationale, making me burst more often..i apologise if i had hurt your feelings. believe me, i love you too much to be doing it on purpose.

• i'm also apologising in advance if by the time the baby gets here, i wont be giving you my full attention. i love you babe, and don't ever think that i'm ignoring you because i love you less.

• also, if in advance, i will scream when you try to carry the baby...i know you are really looking forward to be a big sister..but you have to understand that you should never carry the baby by yourself. cos i will always give you a hand.

please understand babe that i really absolutely love you. and that each sweat, effort and money that i had been earning is only for you, to ensure that you are happy and to give you everything that your heart desires...err everything that i can afford, that is. that is why, i don't feel the pinch when i can buy your shoes which costs as much (or even more) than my own shoes. (which in the end i will not buy because i will think it is too much to spend on myself)

bonda loves you babe. you will always be my precious first born..and i pray that you never forget that.

The Scare

last friday was Halloween...



and it was one of the scariest Halloween ever!



you see, i went for my checkup that day as usual...and during the check up, my gynea said something which made me feel like something is wrong.





he said that the baby is a lil bit big.





"Baby you ni besar sikit, ye?!"





and when we scanned, the diameter of the head was bigger in contrast to the length of the femur.





by then, i was ready to cry.



i had a thousand and one questions that was going thru my mind..



and to each question that i asked, the doctor just said that everything is fine..





but that is not enough!!!





i wanted explanation. descriptions. facts.





i wanted answers!





but the doctor was just saying that everythink is okay.





BUT IT IS NOT!!!





by that night, i was sweating, i couldn't eat or sleep.





i was worried that something is wrong with my precious.







to make the story short, the weekend was hell for hubby.





everything was not right. everything that he did got on my nerves.



my poor hubby.





by sunday, he told me that we should go and get a second opinion.





which we did yesterday.







but this time the gynea actually sat me down and asked me what was bothering me.







he explained everything, each and every situation.





he scanned the baby, and showed me while explaining each and everything about my precious.



i felt as though a boulder had been lifted from my chest.


i felt like i was in a MASTERCARD advertistment.

First checkup : RM 90

Second Opinion : RM 350 (yeah, that bloody expensive, but worth every cent)

the Relief : PRICELESS

for everything else, there is Mastercard.