I Hate This Feeling

how do you say no to the ones you love?

especially when it has something to do with money and loans?! and guarantors?

you see, one of my fav aunts plans to refinance her car, and was wondering whether she can use my name, as she has already retired.

and the sad part is that she is doing it because her able-bodied son wants quick money to start yet ANOTHER business venture.

(he doesn't believe in working under people)

sigh.

if it was him who asked, i would just say NO. ACTUALLY, I WOULD SAY NO EVEN BEFORE HE ASKED, if that's possible.

but the fact that my aunt asked, and i can bet you that she is pressured to ask by you-know-who.

aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.

i dont want to feel bad, but i cant help it.

and i dont want to do it, cos i have other plans.

plans that i dont need my name to be tarnished.

so, how now brown cow?!

how do i say no, and not hurt my god-mum's feelings?!

FABULOSITY!

i am in a different league now.

was my birthday on monday. but too busy to even blog about it.

will update on my celebrations soon.

for now, i will be chanting "30 is the new black", just to keep me happy.

(yes, i am so in denial)

Books Galore

i just came back from the MPH Book Fair.

*shakes head*

WTF issit with Malaysia and books?!

as i was browsing along looking for books that i had on my list related to work, i can't seem to understand one thing:

why are the books here in Malaysia so blardy expensive?

i believe i have blogged about this before.

each of the paperback novels that i touch has the discerning price tag of RM 32.90 and above. (why 32.90? why not 31.58? why that particular price? marketing technique where it is in the 30s yet not above 35 and yet not cheap as in 30 or something of that manner?!)

and i as i am trying to calculate (the after 30% price), i couln't help to think that does this mean only the affluent would get to read books? i am, no offence, but even i, who earn a moderate sum of pay, still finds it a tad bit too much to pay that kind of sum for a book.

and hold your horses, yes, i do agree that i pay 10 times that price for a pair of shoes, but at least i can wear that shoe over and over again! and there are only a 'handful' of special books that i feel is worthy of re-reading over and over again.

and lets talk about kiddie books.

are they expensive or what?! a ladybird number book is RM 29.90! 30 bucks for a book! i can buy dinner for the whole family! or milk for 2 weeks! (but then again, when it comes to your kids, i wave my white flag and surrender. i still bought the book for him)

sigh, can i say this? En Gomen, tolong lah sediakan subsidi untuk buku. kami warga malaysia amat dahagakan buku untuk dibaca, cuma kurang berupaya untuk membeli jika harganya sama dengan harga bil eletrik untuk sebulan.

do you think this will change?!

Something Is Wrong

i have this nagging feeling that something is wrong with me.

i continuously feel down, and irritated. sometimes once i get home, i just want to lock myself in the room and not care about anyone or anything.

i am always easily angry and that nothing seems to be working right.

everything hubby does or says makes me irritated.

the only people who can talk to me are my kids. but even that sometimes makes me feel funny.

work is not that stressful. i mean it is, but it is not something that i can't handle.

and girlfriends, sigh, i feel that they are continuously saying or doing things just to make me feel like this - angry, mad, rimas, irritated and ugh!

i tried going for a foot massage, but it doesn't work.

i tried going for retail therapy, and end up buying things that i dont really need, and STill it doesn't work.

i tried soothing myself with Baskin Robbins till i felt like puking it all out, yet still it doesn't work.

i tried to get extra TLC from hubby, and as much fun and excitement it got to be, it still wasn't enough to cover this bloody feeling.

i tried to go for a 'heart-to-heart' session, and yet it still didn't shut the nagging feeling i have.

i even went to borrow some books from the library, and yet, i cant seem to turn the pages fast enough before the feeling of wanting to throw the book comes.

i even tried sleeping therapy, and yet i always end up waking up feeling groggy and wanting to murder someone.

sigh, i guess, the best way to settle once and for all this feeling is by not being a coward and face the problem smack on.

i will need all the support from all of you, just to make it through this. and i thank all of you in advance for this much needed support.

here goes nothing:

Okay you big 30, come on! i'm not gonna be scared (or sad) turning thirty. as they say, 30 is the new black!

(okay, you can stop cursing me, as well as stop shaking your head. it IS a BIG deal for me to be entering the errr the 3-series!)

FAKKAYOO!

i know this blog is supposed to be clean.

NOT!!!!

hahahhaa...enjoy this tear-inducing-hard-to-breathe-peeing-panty video that i found while blog hopping!

(shtoopid sheet, trying to upload but can't...so, just try this link.)

happy laughing!

click here

Jello

my parents left for Hajj yesterday night.

it was a sad festive day yesterday.

festive cos it is what ALL muslims would like to achieve, and sad because it meant leaving all your family behind for 44 days.

and yesterday the house was filled with well-wishers. was on my feet the whole day, but managed to get a breather by going out for Baskin Robbins!

we arrived at the Tabung Haji complex at 2130 and by the time my parents had to go in, i was starting to feel like a sad, droopy jello.

sigh, the waterworks started soon after.

i cannot describe the feeling, but it sure was sad.

mom n dad, i pray that ALLAH the Most Merciful accepts and bless you pilgrimage and hope you will return back here safely in December.

i for sure, am missing both of you like hell.

and to top of the sadness, i also had to manage the girls who is missing their babah and nana. last night was filled with crying and me trying to keep sane.

come back soon!

Things Jasmine Says

"bonda, my kaki crap!"

(translation: "Bonda, my legs are cramped!")

"Pantak!"

(translation: Pant4t!" - disclaimer: please understand that we, the parents DO NOT condone this type of language, and that she got her mouth 'tapped' for saying such things)

"Oh My God, Abombo and Abombette...hide!"

(translation: Errr...Blacks? Africans? Abombo for the males, Abombette for the females!)

"This bag Aunty Lemanie bought"

(translation: This bag was bought by Aunty Melanie)

"Daddy is an old man, that's why he has white white"

(translation: Daddy's an old man, that's why he has white hair - now daddy is suffering from a bruised ego)

"I cannot wear Jeans everyday cos Bonda says that DingDong might come out"

(translation: cannot be wearing jeans everyday for fear that the penis might be sprouting out due to continuous dressing up like a boy ie: the jeans)

Whenever I say to myself "Fat Fat!" she will say "No lah! Who said?!"

(translation: daughter trying to keep mother in state of UTTER DENIAL, while daddy rolling eyes and vomiting blood)

"I love you lil man"

(translation: lil man means Rashard - awwww)